Here are a few basic rules for hosting a backyard BBQ
Don't embarrass yourself.
Football season is back, baby!
It’s one of the best times of the year, if you ask me.
The blazing Texas summers are coming to an end and cooler — albeit slightly — weather is on its way, and Sundays are once again dedicated to Dallas Cowboys football.
One of my favorite things about football season is hosting watch parties with my closest Cowboys-loving and non-Cowboys-loving friends. It’s a time to show off my new skills and dishes I picked up since last season, plus drink beer, share laughs, and have a damn good time.
If you’re planning your own cookouts this year — perhaps for the first time — here are some tips you should know.
1. Cook more than burgers and dogs!
If you’re planning on holding a proper backyard barbecue, for the love of god cook more than hamburgers and hot dogs. I’m not saying those are a bad choice — especially if there are kids running around — but they shouldn’t be the only protein choices.
Repeat after me: A backyard barbecue is more than burgers and dogs.
Now that’s settled…
2. What kinds of smoked meats should I serve?
Personally, I’d focus on finger foods as much as possible. They cut down on dishes and who doesn’t love eating with their hands, drinking beer, and watching football? Just make sure you have plenty of napkins. [Parents, here’s another use for those baby wipes.]
Think: smoked hot wings with multiple sauces, pulled pork or chopped brisket sandwiches drizzled in BBQ sauce and homemade pickles, smoked brisket burgers, or Texas Twinkies.
3. How much food should I cook?
This is tricky, because you don’t want to be the host that didn’t have enough food, but also you don’t want to have a whole brisket, three racks of ribs, and a heaping pile of pulled pork left over.
Or maybe you do, what do I know?
Here’s my standard formula for serving:
A half pound of cooked meat per person
Four ounces of sides per person
So, as an example:
You invite 20 people — and they actually all show!
You need 10 pounds of cooked meat and 5 pounds of sides — it doesn’t hurt to cook a tad extra.
Admittedly, these are rough guidelines.
If your buddies are big dudes who love to chow down, you’d be wise to increase your meat servings to ¾ to 1 pound per person and sides to 8 ounces per. If your guests don’t eat like your big-dude friends, you can decrease it to maybe ⅓ pound per person.
Use your best judgment. But let me just say this: No one in the history of food has anyone been upset about taking barbecue leftovers home.
4. Should I serve appetizers?
That’s your call. But if you’re providing all the food — especially if it’s barbecue, and you’ve spent the previous days prepping and cooking — then absolutely not. Your buds are getting a free meal; the least they can do is bring some apps.
Here are my top — basic AF — appetizers for football Sundays, ranked off my very scientific research [aka my beer gut]:
5. Deviled eggs. I’ll eat a dozen of these and fart my wife out of my bed that night.
4. Veggie tray. Don’t sleep on some crunchy veg and ranch. Can I get a shoutout from my raw broccoli lovers?!
3. Taquitos. Fresh, frozen, whatever. Give me hundreds of those suckers with some salsa and sour cream.
2. Queso. Smoke it, add chorizo or pico, add whatever — I don’t care. I’ll take a whole bowl of that warm, cheesy goodness. If I’m constipated for the next week, just know it was worth it.
1. Homemade guacamole and chips. I’m not talking about that store-bought BS either, although H-E-B does a solid job with theirs. I will eat 50 avocados worth if it’s good. Bet.
5. Should I provide drinks for everyone?
Again, if you’re providing all the delicious smoked meats and spending many hours cooking them, it’s not unreasonable to ask your guests to bring drinks. Your buds are getting a free meal; the least they can do is provide sodas and beer.
6. How many TVs should I have running?
You should have at least one running the main game you invited everyone over to watch [hopefully the Cowboys]. If you can spare another TV or two, have them air other choice games your guests request near the main hangout area — or in another room if it’s a real deplorable team [ahem, Eagles.]
7. The game is over. Everyone is ready to leave. Do I ask them to stay and clean up?
Nah. As the host, that’s part of hosting duties. If they offer help with some basic clean-up, that’s fine. Otherwise, thank them for coming, load them up with leftovers, and send them on their way until next time. Yet, I’ll maintain one caveat: If your best friend[s] is there, then absolutely have them stay and help. Best friend status comes with certain responsibilities.
But don’t forget to send them home with leftovers, too.